Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
