Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
