piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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