Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize