$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
