I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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