this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
