'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
