After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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