I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
True strength comes from lack of pants
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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