You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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