I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
