I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
