Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
