We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize