they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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