That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
