It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
