So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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