fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
