whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
