i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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