i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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