Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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