Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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