hotel room ftw
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
