Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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