His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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