She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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