And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
