Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
