i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
