Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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