big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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