I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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