He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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