So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
