He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
