$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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