My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
