I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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