Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
