I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
