Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
