Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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