Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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