I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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