I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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