im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
two words...techno handjob
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You were trust falling into bushes
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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