Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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