your thong is hanging out like whoa
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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