if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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