Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
