and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
