You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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