Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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