We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
