she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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