the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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