You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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