I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I had to cum in my sink.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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