If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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