should my penis look like a turkey
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
