I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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