I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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